Hannibal meets his stereotypical mexican family who may also be wolves
by Tak Membrane
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin.


**FUCKING SHUT UP PHOEBE OHMYGOD**

**THIS STARTED BECAUSE I POINTED OUT HANNIBALS /STUPID-ASS TIE/ IN THE 9TH EPISODE OHMYGPD**

**HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME**

* * *

There were hundreds of dark secrets that Hannibal kept to himself. The most well-known secret, if a secret can still be well known and still be a secret, is of course the fact that he ate fucking human beings, like what.

If you delved deeper into his past, however, you would discover something that he was much more cautious about guarding guarding. This secret was something that he himself tried to forget. But sometimes at night, he would still hear the gentle sounds of far-off maracas rattling ominously in the wind. They haunted him as much as Will's crazy fucking life. will is silly.

He couldn't even pinpoint when exactly they had become a part of his life.

His family; in the background of every photo, passing by in a video, even in his memoirs their names seemed to mysteriously appear in his texts.

The worst part was the mirrors. Every once in a while, he woulh catch a glimpse of _her _behind him in the mirror. Just standing there menacingly, like a shadow, holding up a bowl of cornchips and that _horrid _intstrument.

How he _hated _them.

Then, one day, it happened. It was to be his final session with Franklyn. As he had nobody schedualed after the hideous blubbering fat man, he had intended to snap his fat blubbery neck and then harvest his flowing, supple, blubbery flesh meat. His mouth had watered.

But then, he had heard it. The faint, distant shreiking of "AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIIA". He froze. No, it couldn't be.

But it WAS.

THEM.

They'd found him, after all these years of hiding. And then it began. The shaking.

THE SHAKING OF THE MARACAS.

IT ALWAYS BEGAN WITH THE SHAKING.

Franklyn was confused. He lifted one eyebrow quizzically.

"Am I crazy or...do you hear maracas?"

But Hannibal could not respond. He had to run, had to hide. But he was paralyzed with fear. Suddenly, the door BOOMED open and in stepped a chubby spainish woman wearing the most gawdy clothing imaginable. She grinned like a mexican wolf. i mena a coyote. ok whatever ok

'AIII HANNIBAL-NINO' IT IS TIME FOR A FIESTA. THE WHOLE FAMILY IS HEEEERRREEE! WE ALL CAME TO SEE YOUUUUUU!" she howled like a mexican wolf, and i don't mean coyotoe. I mean a wolf that has mexican heritage. like maybe the wolfs dad was mexican. no, actually, both his parents were mexican.

"Aunt bonita..." Hannibal muttered under his breath, fear lacing his every word.

"AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIIA" Bonita screamed. And at the sound of her call, they came. Millions of pitter-pattering chiuahua feets. The click-claking of a thousand cholas high stilettos. And finally, the inelegant stomping of the greasy uncles loafers. Hannibal swore that he could hear the pomade dripping down their fat necks, catching in-between their many chins and soaking them with sticky residue and then finally dripping down to fall upon his immaculate carpet.

Franklyn was speechless.

They tore through the house, with no regard to any personal belongings of Hannibals. Immedietly, all of his elegant, cotton tablecloths were replaced with gawdy woven rainbow ones. His kitchen was filled with the noises and smells that came with the production of a million hot tamales. Cornchips. Cornchips everywhere.

Franklyn was pulled into the fray and Hannibal could see him happily performing the mexican hat dance while imbibing huge amounts of Dos Equis . Poor, foolish Franklyn, falling prey to their mind games.

Hannibal stood to protest the fiasco going on in his not-so-humble abode. But he was SILECNED by a mouth full of refried beans being stuffed donw his attractive gullet. It was one of the cholas. He couldn't be bothered to remember her name anymore.

"ey muyo hahito, que supresa! You have got to try my new refried bean dish. It is made MOSTLY of refried beans, refried dreams, and mayonaisse" she sqwuaked. I am good at spelling .

Hannibal spat the abomination out of his lifehole, choking slightly on the midly acidic taste that it left upon his pallet.

"What are all of you doing in my house? How did you find me here?" he demanded, furiously. Aunt Bonita laughed with her whole body, and some of other peoples bodies as well.

"SILLY HANNIBUL-NINYO." she bellowed like a mexican wolf would, if they bellowed, or existed. She then leaned in closer to him.

"_we will always find you" _she whispered, in a way that a mexican wolf might, if they were ever to whisper. Will had told Hannibal that mexican wolves could whisper, but Hannibal was not so sure. That Will boy was always making up some crazy new story.

"Leave my house now! I don't have the patience or the time for this!" Hannibal retorted. Phoebe is doing her make-up now, and she stopped helping me iwrite which means I am now going to make fun of her. Phoebe is fat. fat fta fat. fatty butt. secret butt fun. ahahahah

"OOOOH FOOLSIH HANNIBUL, There is always time for '**EL' FA'MIL'IO'''''" **she growled. Y'know what else growls?

Mexcian wolves.

Hannibal surveyed his home. It was in such a state of dissarray that it wasn't even recognizable as his own anymore. Little pablo and Little Juanita were smashing a pinata to bits in the living room. The greasy, fat uncles were all sweating upon his pristine furniture and salivating over the prospect of eting yet another tamale. In his bedroom, the housewives were BLASTING their spainish soap operas and weeping over the drama in them.

Suddenly, the pinata exploded and Hannibal realized that he could not possibly murder all of them.

He collapsed into a chair, and went to run his hands through his hair. But there was a barrier. He removed the barrier from his head and saw it to be a sombrero. He threw it on the ground.

Just then, Little Juanablequesaladiyadoeyjose came up to him. Juanablequesaladiyadoeyjose looked up at hannibl with sad eyes.

"I am sorry you are not enjoying the fiesta. Perhaps this will help." Juanablequesaladiyadoeyjose said, and he placed a pair of grouchy marx glasse on Hannibals face.

"FUCKING NO, GET AWAY" Hannibal yelled. The child ran away screaming. Hannibal tore the glasses off of his extrememly attractive face. Unfortunatly, the glasses were coated in a thick layer of child-stick and so a great chunk of his goergeous hair was ripped out with them. He gritted his teeth with frustration. How could he possibly win a fight against these people?

Just then, a pinata exploded candy and beans all over him, and he fell on the ground and wept silently to himself, defenseless, as the dark fiesta raged on around him.

* * *

**im not racist some of my best friends are one fourth mexican**

**ahhaahahhaahhhaha**

**it is 2:46 AM**


End file.
